July 15th

Noordwijk, The Netherlands

Today is a particularly rough day. I switched hostels to one down in Noordwijk yesterday. It’s a small beach town between Amsterdam and Rotterdam. Apparently it’s one of the best beaches in the Netherlands.

I’m having a rough time because I barely was able to sleep last night, which makes me moody. The guy below me was coughing up a lung and would not shut up. I played music pretty loudly in my ears to drain out the noise, because even earplugs did not help. Plus the beds are not very sturdy and they shake a lot. I’m in the top bunk and there’s not guard rail, a little bit scary as I’m cuddling the wall.

After a night of no sleep I find it scary and frustrating that I don’t have any particular plan next. I’ve been trying to get a workaway job in France, but have not found much luck. I think I’m going to try and extend my search to somewhere in Spain. Wish me luck.

I bought festival tickets to a one day event in Amsterdam called “a day at the park.” I thought I had a Couchsurfing thing all set up, but that arrangement fell through. I think I found a campsite, but it is first come, first serve and I’m scared I won’t get a plot of land.

I find that I have a lot of ups and downs throughout this trip. I’ll have a really great time somewhere and then I’ll get in a mood and wish to just go away. This uncertainty, and this loneliness has not gone away. It flees for moments and then it just comes back. You could say the same things about the good times. It’s good for a while and then it goes back down, although I realize that soon, it will go back up.

I think I just need to get away from people. I need a break. I want to go climb a mountain, spend time at a farm, do something different. This beach is alright, nothing special about it. The sand is average, the water is average. It’s probably better than the gulf at least. It’s green instead of brown.

Here’s to me hoping I can enjoy myself and have everything fall into place.


Here’s a photo of me and this Dutch guy I met eating Gelato from today. I find that when things are rough in the mornings, if I just write out my thoughts it helps me turn my day around.


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